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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25008085">Someone To You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxMattel666/pseuds/MaxMattel666'>MaxMattel666</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>EnnoTana HCs [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Captain Ennoshita Chikara, Ennoshita is a pretty boy, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Long-Suffering Ennoshita Chikara, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Pining Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Protective Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Self-Esteem Issues, Tanaka is the best boyfriend, Terushima is kind of a fuckboy I'm sorry, eventual Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, second years as third years</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:20:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,732</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25008085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxMattel666/pseuds/MaxMattel666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ennoshita doesn't think he's worth more than hurried kisses in dark locker rooms with boys who see him as nothing but a distraction. Tanaka changes that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Ennoshita Chikara/Terushima Yuuji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>EnnoTana HCs [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873042</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>340</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/handsonmyeyes/gifts">handsonmyeyes</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So my best friend and I came up with this HC and I literally have not been able to stop thinking about it, so here y'all go, sad boy Ennoshita time. This all started because handsonmyeyes always draws Ennoshita wearing a t-shirt at the beach/pool so...</p><p>I hope you all are staying healthy and safe, check out the links on my profile for information and resources regarding the BLM movement.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ennoshita didn’t want to be at the pool. The whole atmosphere made him uncomfortable, surrounded by his fellow rising captains as they stripped down to their swimsuits. He couldn’t help but look at the other bodies that surrounded him, taking note of how they looked in comparison to his own. Ennoshita had been sitting on the pool deck next to Akaashi, idly chatting about various things relating to volleyball, but Ennoshita hadn’t really been paying all that much attention due to the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about the way he must have looked next to the Fukurodani setter. Thankfully Akaashi had excused himself just a moment before to take a phone call, no doubt from Bokuto who had just moved into his dorm at university.</p><p>Ennoshita tried to just enjoy the water, settling into the cool sensation that wrapped around his legs. The sun felt nice on his face as he braced himself on his hands and leaned back. However he could only enjoy it for a moment before he heard a groan and felt a disturbance in the water to his right.</p><p>“Phew, it sure is nice out.”</p><p>Ennoshita let his eyes slip open, it was Terushima who had come up next to him. The Johzenji captain had crossed his arms over the edge of the pool and was looking over at Ennoshita. Terushima’s hazel eyes were level with his stomach and Ennoshita immediately wanted to scramble away.</p><p>“Oh, yeah. It’s nice out,” Ennoshita mumbled, leaning away slightly from the unfamiliar captain. Terushima was a troublemaker. He was loud and boisterous and didn’t necessarily fit in with the other rising captains.</p><p>“Why don’t you get in the water? You do know this is a pool party, right?” Terushima chuckled as he looked Ennoshita up and down. It made the Karasuno captain want to run and hide himself underneath his track jacket.</p><p>“Oh, um, I’m fine here, like this,” Ennoshita mumbled, turning away from the other boy and looking down at his legs, distorted by the rippling of the water.</p><p>Terushima hummed a little noise as he nudged the top of Ennoshita’s leg with his elbow, “so what’s with the tank top?”</p><p>Ennoshita felt his shoulders jump up to his ears at both the contact and the comment. Instinctively he pulled his arms in front of them, placing them in his lap to hide his torso. He felt his cheeks begin to burn, and it wasn’t from the afternoon sun.</p><p>“What are you, shy or something?” Terushima teased with a grin. The blonde looked up at Ennoshita’s face and caught his eyes. “Well you shouldn’t be because between you and me, I think you’d look better with it off,” he said with a smirk.</p><p>“Maybe you’d look better with yours on,” Ennoshita quipped back, hoping that the remark would get the other boy to move on and leave him be until Akaashi came back.</p><p>“Okay, maybe not so shy then,” Terushima laughed. Ennoshita could feel that his body wanted to recoil but there was something… novel about the way Terushima interacted with him, even if he was looking at Ennoshita more like a lion would prey than one captain to another. “I like that, you know,” he teased.</p><p>“Ah, Ennoshita, I grabbed you a drink,” Akaashi had returned and was holding out a bottle of strawberry ramune.</p><p>“T-thanks,” Ennoshita managed, taking the pop from Akaashi.</p><p>“I’ll take that as my cue to leave. See you around, babe,” Terushima chuckled before pushing off the wall and back into the water.</p><p>Ennoshita frowned at the nickname and Terushima’s subsequent departure. Akaashi glanced over at him but said nothing, which Ennoshita was incredibly grateful for. The encounter alone was awkward enough, having to talk about it with someone else would only have made it worse. Terushima flashed one last grin before swimming away, no doubt off to go bother someone else.</p><p>The rest of the party passed relatively painlessly. Akaashi continued to make small talk with Ennohsita until they were eventually joined by Yahaba, who had begrudgingly gotten out of his duck pool inflatable after being splashed by one of Terushima’s belly flops. Ennoshita continued to nod, only halfway participating in the conversation. Instead he found himself scanning the pool for glimpses of Terushima’s dyed blonde hair and glinting silver piercings. When Terushima caught him looking, he threw back a wink that made Ennoshita want to bury his face in his hands forever.</p><p>It didn’t make sense to Ennoshita. Why did he feel such a rush when he caught Terushima looking at him? He didn’t like to be looked at, what was there to see? Ennoshita was plain and he knew it. He had a typical haircut, brown hair and brown eyes. He dressed like everyone else did. He made average grades. He was an average volleyball player. Terushima seemed to be everything else. He was flashy and loud and exciting. Terushima seemed so special and well, Ennoshita didn’t feel special at all.</p><p>He looked down at his body. He wasn’t built strong and lean like the other captains or even the other players on Karasuno. He looked at himself and just saw softness. Thighs that he felt were too large and wide hips that made him look feminime but not feminine enough to actually be compared to a girl. His arms that could receive volleyballs relatively well but weren’t muscular enough to spike with any sort of amazing power. His body was just as average as the rest of him except he felt a little too big and a little too soft in the wrong places. He was comfortable with average but something about being in his own skin just felt unsettling.</p><p>Ennoshita could usually hide behind his school blazer or his oversized practice clothes, and he thought he would be able to hide behind his tank top but it was like Terushima had seen right through his efforts. Recalling the way that the blonde’s eyes had raked over his body made him shiver. He felt strangely exposed, like he was really being looked at for the first time. He almost felt analyzed in a way and while it made him incredibly uncomfortable, there was something exhilarating at being looked up and down like he was worthy of being seen. Or not worthy perhaps, but more so just enough to capture someone’s attention, if only for a fleeting moment. He was a distraction it seemed, something for Terushima to look at it, but it was better than not being seen at all.</p><p>Eventually the sun began to set and the new captains decided that it’s time to say their goodbyes and leave. Ennoshita managed to slip away with only a quick goodbye to Akaashi and Yahaba, quickly pulling on his tracksuit over his swim trunks and tank top. He looked over his shoulder one last time and caught a glimpse of Terushima toweling off his hair. Thankfully his eyes were closed so he couldn’t see the way Ennoshita swallowed awkwardly before turning on his heels and making a mad dash for the bus stop.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ennoshita doesn’t see or hear from Terushima again until a few weeks later at the first training camp of the year. Johzenji had been invited to the Tokyo training camp, along with teams such as Nekoma and Fukurodani. The whole place buzzed with excitement, each team having brought their new first year recruits along for the first training camp. Ennoshita was so busy trying to keep track everyone that he had barely had time to check which team they would be playing first</p><p>Ennoshita was sure Terushima wouldn’t pay any mind to him, he wasn’t memorable afterall. So there was no reason to remember Ennoshita anyways. Johzenji and Karasuno rarely saw one another as the two schools didn’t have a close relationship like Karasuno did with Nekoma. Ennoshita replayed the pool party’s events in his head, quickly shutting down the idea that perhaps Terushima had thought about him since then. That would just be wishful thinking and wishful thinking was a waste. But then the two were directed to shake hands, and there was a spark of recognition in Terushima’s eyes that made Ennoshita’s breath hitch. Oh, they were playing Johzenji.</p><p>“Good luck, captain,” Terushima grinned.<br/>
Ennoshita could hardly concentrate for the duration of the game and was thrown off every time he and Terushima locked eyes. The blonde kept throwing Ennoshita looks when he was up to serve, and had even seemed to mouth something to him that Ennoshita couldn’t make out from across the court. Johzenji took the first set, and then the second and Ennoshita led his team in a lap of diving drills around the gym.</p><p>Karasuno was finally packing up for the day when Ennoshita’s phone lit up.</p><p>
  <em>You looked good on the court today, I’ll be staying late to practice some serves in the second gym if you want to join me ;) -Teru</em>
</p><p>Ennoshita looked around quickly, his team was packing up and getting ready to head to the cafeteria for dinner. They probably wouldn’t miss him, right? Against his better judgement, Ennoshita headed for the gym.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Terushima dug his fingers to the flesh of Ennoshita’s waist and pulled him forward so that they were pressed flush up against each other. The blonde rolled his hips and Ennoshita gasped but didn’t pull away. In an instant Terushima’s lips were on his, warm and wet and wanting. He wrapped an arm around Ennoshita’s waist while his other hand found purchase in the short hair at the nape of his neck. Ennoshita felt his arms move before he even realized what he was doing, his arms coming to rest around Terushima’s neck as he began to kiss back.</p><p>Ennoshita had gone to “join Terushima for serve practice” in the second gym but not more than twenty minutes later, found himself being guided hastily by the wrist into the adjacent locker room. Terushima pulled his arm in, pressing Ennoshita’s torso impossibly closer against his own as he moved to deepen their kiss, swiping his tongue along Ennoshita’s bottom lip. It was all happening so fast, Ennoshita didn’t know what to do except open his mouth. He had never even been kissed before.</p><p>Terushima licked into his mouth with unparalleled ferocity. He took to Ennoshita like a dying man to water. The cool metal of Terushima’s tongue piercing slid against Ennoshita’s teeth and it made the brunette groan low in his throat at the sensation. Ennoshita’s mind was blissfully blank. His head felt foggy and unclear, like at any moment he could just melt away. The fog settled heavier and heavier as he felt himself being manhandled backwards until his back hit the cool tile of the locker room wall. Terushima pulled his arm from around Ennoshita’s waist and snaked up under his shirt. The brunette’s first instinct was to pull away but there was nowhere to go. He was stuck between Terushima’s much larger form and the wall.</p><p>The sudden press of Terushima’s hips against his own had Ennoshita pulling back from the kiss to pant for just a moment before Terushima bent down to kiss him again. Ennoshita tilted his chin up and let the other boy part his lips once again. Terushima pawed at Ennoshita roughly, curling his fingers into the softness of Ennoshita’s waist.</p><p>“Fuck,” Terushima groaned. “You’re so soft.”</p><p>Ennoshita felt his heart jump up into his throat. Soft? He had always thought of his body as soft, slightly pudgier than the other boys on his team but not necessarily fat. He was just… soft. A little too soft, too big, just enough for him to be aware of it. It was what made him want to hide behind tank tops at the pool and why he was content to be a background character. But now he had a boy grabbing at his body with lust and desire and it was strange. It felt good in a way but it also made him feel dirty as Terushima grabbed at Ennoshita’s softness, kissing him with a fervour that Ennoshita had believed he would never be on the receiving end of.</p><p>Terushima ran his hands up and down Ennoshita’s sides and then further down, eventually bringing his arms around to squeeze at the backs of Ennoshita’s thighs. Ennoshita couldn’t help but let out a little noise at the sudden touch, leaving an open opportunity for Terushima to push his own thigh in between Ennoshita’s legs. Ennoshita’s hips moved against his will at the intimate contact, causing Terushima to grind back and soon the two boys were rocking back and forth against each other as they kissed feverishly in the dim light of the locker room.</p><p>Terushima kissed like he was a starved animal and Ennoshita was his long awaited prey. He grabbed at Ennoshita’s hips, lifting him up onto the sink counter without warning. Ennoshita gasped at the sudden movement but was quickly shushed by Terushima moving in to kiss him again. The blonde kept one hand on Ennoshita’s hips, holding him in place with a firm grip. Ennoshita winced a little at the force, he would probably wake up with a bruise. Terushima pulled away from the kiss, leaving Ennoshita panting. But before he could catch his breath, Terushima had begun to mouth at his neck.</p><p>“Chikara,” Terushima growled into the hollow of his throat. Ennoshita shivered at the way his given name sounded on the other boy’s tongue. Terushima licked a stripe up the column of Ennoshita’s throat as he pressed his hips upwards, just barely grinding against the other boy. Small gasps escaped Ennoshita’s mouth as Terushima sucked and bit at the sensitive skin. Ennoshita allowed his head to roll back, giving Terushima more access which the blonde took in stride, moving to suck a dark hickey just under Ennoshita’s collar bone.</p><p>“N-not where my team can see,” Ennoshita whispered.</p><p>Terushima gave a little hum and then moved back up to recapture Ennoshita’s lips. Ennoshita felt himself moan into the kiss, unable to control how his body was reacting to the other boy’s touch. Terushima’s hands snaked down from where they had been gripping his hips and wrapped themselves around Ennoshita’s thighs. Terushima squeezed at the muscle under his hands, moving his fingers under the hem of Ennoshita’s shorts. Ennoshita choked back a yelp as he felt Terushima’s warm hands pressing into his flesh.</p><p>Then the warmth was pulled away again as Terushima dipped his head down between Ennoshita’s legs. He pulled one of Ennoshita’s legs over his shoulder and proceeded to bite and suck at the soft skin of the brunette’s thigh for a moment. Ennoshita steadied himself on one hand and buried the other in Terushima’s dyed hair as his back arched. In an instant the sudden attack was over and Terushima was once again nosing at Ennoshita’s throat. He pressed the palm of his hand against the bite mark he had left on Ennoshita’s thigh, causing him to gasp.</p><p>“You feel so good under me,” Terushima panted.</p><p>Ennoshita felt himself go rigid at the comment but that didn’t stop the other captain’s hands from wandering. Ennoshita had been leaning back, using his arms to steady himself on the counter when Terushima grabbed his wrists and pulled the brunette forward. Ennoshita let one arm hang around Terushima’s neck while the other fell on his check, unsure of whether or not to push the boy away or pull him closer. Instead he settled for simply resting his hand there, feeling the way Terushima’s jaw moved under his palm as they kissed again.</p><p>Terushima bit at Ennoshita’s bottom lip until the faint taste of copper intermingled between their mouths, and yet Ennoshita didn’t stop him. Instead he let his mouth move as if on autopilot, letting his body move and react like he wasn’t really in it. It felt nice somehow, to be taken apart in that way. Terushima’s hands gripped at him hard enough to leave bruises and while the carnality of it made Ennoshita feel dirty, he leaned into it. When would another opportunity like this come along for him? Would anyone else ever look at him the way Terushima did? Lust was better than nothing, and so Ennoshita relinquished himself to it.</p><p>Ennoshita didn’t know how long they'd been at it but the heat pooling in his stomach had become almost unbearable. His jaw ached, his lips were swollen and his skin was surely littered in fingertip shaped bruises. Terushima was in the middle of running a hand up and down Ennoshita’s chest when there was suddenly a rapid knocking at the door.</p><p>“Yuji, you bastard, are you in there? Come on! We’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Shit, it must have been one of Terushima’s teammates.</p><p>“Sorry baby, looks like I’ve gotta run,” Terushima grinned slyly, pulling away from Ennoshita and licking his lips. With a flash of blonde hair and a glint of metal, Terushima was gone. Ennoshita was left sitting on the counter looking completely disheveled. His hair which was usually combed smoothly to the side now stuck up in every which direction, and his lips were swollen and red. His shorts were hiked up so high that the bite mark Terushima left was clearly visable.</p><p>Eventually Ennoshita jumped down from the counter. He didn’t know how long he had been in the locker room for and hoped that his team wasn’t looking for him like how Johzenji had been looking for Terushima. He turned on the tap and splashed his face with cold water before facing himself in the mirror. Ennoshita almost didn’t recognize the boy looking back at him. In a sad way he thought he almost looked better like that, debauched, at least he looked a little more interesting than he usually did. But that thought quickly got put aside when another thought skins in. Was this how his love life was always going to be?</p><p>Ennoshita shuttered as he thought about being pulled into a dark locker room or an alley or a back corner every time he was kissed. Oh right, he thought to himself, he surely wasn’t the type of person someone would want to show off or be proud of. He was a closed door kind of conquest, something only desired in secret and he resigned himself to that distorted idea like it was fact.</p><p>He straightened his shirt out and fixed his hair, only a bit relieved that Terushima hadn’t left any marks visible up high on his neck. He looked in the mirror again and sighed deeply, the evidence of what he had done only lingered slightly below the surface. With that, Ennoshita padded out of the locker room, feeling boneless and exhausted. He’d wake up early to shower he decided, whatever Terushima had left on his skin could wait to be washed away. He sighed internally at the thought. He felt pathetic.</p><p>When he finally made his way back into the empty classroom turned lodging for his team, he was greeted by a bright eyed Tanaka. “Hey! Where were you?” Tanaka asked with a tone of genuine concern. “We missed you at dinner! Wouldn’t want our captain going hungry,” the ace laughed, a wide smile cracking on his face.</p><p>“Ah, sorry, I was just taking care of some things,” Ennoshita quickly replied, hoping that Tanaka wouldn’t notice his slightly messy hair or swollen lips.</p><p>“I managed to snag you some stuff from the cafeteria, if you want it,” Tanaka said, holding out a take out box with what must have been dinner.</p><p>“Oh,” Ennoshita felt his face heat up as he took the leftovers from his teammate and mumbled his thanks.</p><p>Had Tanaka really been worried about him? Had the rest of the team? The heavy weight of guilt sank to the bottom of his stomach. He was the captain now, he should have been there for his team if they needed something. He was so sure that none of them would notice his absence. Well, maybe Narita and Kinnoshita would have noticed but he assumed they wouldn’t come looking for him and they hadn’t… oh. Tanaka must have managed well as vice captain over dinner, seeing as that most of the team had managed to settle down somewhat. Perhaps they hadn’t really missed him all that much after all and Tanaka was just saying it to be nice. Yes, that must have been it, Ennoshita concluded. Tanaka however, was not in fact, just being nice. But Ennoshita didn’t know that yet.</p><p>Ennoshita picked at his food while his teammates chatted around him, discussing plays and games and other team’s new first year players. The ruckus all melded together into white noise like crackling static as Ennoshita thought about the way Terushima had touched him only fifteen minutes before. Without realizing it he had set his food down and was gently running his hands over his legs, his fingers ghosting over the bruises hiding just under his shorts.</p><p>“Hey, Ennoshita, you alright?” He’s pulled out of his trance like state by a familiar voice. It’s Tanaka, looking at Ennoshita over his shoulder from across the room where he had been watching Nishinoya and Hinata mess around with a Nintendo Switch.</p><p>“Ah-!” Ennoshita squeaked, feeling incredibly caught out. “Yes, sorry, I think I’m just tired,” Ennoshita managed to force out with a laugh.</p><p>Tanaka seemed to buy it and nodded before turning back to Nishinoya and Hinata’s antics. Ennoshita’s shoulders dropped and suddenly he wasn’t hungry anymore. He usually blushed and shied away when Tanaka looked at him but this time it felt different, like he was open and exposed. It was as if Tanaka could see what lay under his clothes even though the wing spiker gave no indication that he knew what Ennoshita had gotten up to when he’d disappeared. Ennoshita didn’t want Tanaka to see him like that. Sometimes he would catch little looks and lingering glances and try to let himself fantasize that maybe, just maybe, the ace liked to look at him. Ennoshita pushed the thought down, he didn’t want to catch Tanaka looking at him now. He hadn’t necessarily felt dirty before per say but now he did, like he was harbouring some unspeakable secret. And then he remembered he was a closed door kind of love and decided Tanaka deserved someone better than that, someone who could be more than Ennoshita thought he’d amount to.</p><p>That night Ennoshita crawled into his futon and curled up in a ball with his knees pulled to his chest and arms wrapped around them, tucking away the softest part of himself. He desperately wanted the training camp to be over as soon as possible, but a little voice in the back of his head kept pulling Terushima to the forefront of his mind. He wrapped his arms around himself tighter and tried to push the thought of Terushima’s hands on him out of his head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ennoshita didn’t know why he felt so nauseous when he caught Terushima flirting with Kiyoko at lunch the next day. The Johzenji captain was leaning against the wall, standing entirely too close to Kiyoko who seemed to be ignoring Terushima’s flirtacious ministrations. Ennoshita felt his face grow hot and his hands curl into fists by his side before he turned and marched off in the opposite direction. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t angry, he kept telling himself. He had no reason to be upset. Terushima had kissed him that one time the night before and that was it. Of course Ennoshita would find him flirting with Kiyoko, he thought to himself. Afterall, Ennoshita was nothing more than some distraction surely. Rationally he knew he had no right to be upset over the display, but Terushima had at least wanted him in some capacity so maybe… No. Ennoshita shook his head at his own thoughts. It was stupid to think he’d get more than needy, rushed kisses in a dark locker room.</p><p>Terushima texted Ennoshita semi-regularly after their training camp encounter. Not all the time, but often enough. But hardly during the day, rather Terushima’s texts were mostly saved for the late hours of the night when he was bored and Ennoshita lay sleepless in his bed. The texts would range from a simple you up? To more suggestive and even explicit things. Ennoshita never sent the first text, not being one to initiate things. Instead he’d wait for Terushima to text him first, and he always responded. Why though, he wasn’t sure.</p><p>Ennoshita got a message at 1:42am, and like always, he answered.</p><p>Terushima: <em>hey, you up?</em></p><p>Ennoshita: <em>yeah</em></p><p>Terushima: <em>was thinking about you</em></p><p>Ennoshita: <em>oh?</em></p><p>Terushima: <em>what’re you up to?</em></p><p>Ennoshita: <em>just in bed</em></p><p>Terushima: <em>oh yeah? Me too. Wish I was doing something else though</em></p><p>Ennoshita: <em>lol, like what?</em></p><p>Terushima: <em>I think you can guess, I’m feeling a little lonely</em><br/>
Terushima: <em>you ever get lonely, Chikara?</em></p><p>Ennoshita: <em>sometimes, I guess</em></p><p>Terushima: <em>maybe we could help each other out then</em></p><p>Ennoshita: <em>what, you’re gonna help me?</em></p><p>Terushima: <em>I think I know just how to help you, baby ;)</em><br/>
Terushima: <em>[Image Attached]</em></p><p>That was how it always started. Once a week or maybe even twice, a sleepless Terushima would text him like that, and Ennoshita would respond quicker than he’d want to admit. It always started and ended the same way, with Terushima getting half an hour of entertainment that left Ennoshita feeling no more fulfilled than he did beforehand. The texts served as a distraction and made Ennoshita feel halfway wanted in a sad sort of way. There wasn’t much pride to be had in being the object of a boy’s fantasies for a few minutes of pleasure and yet Ennoshita always replied.</p><p>Sometimes he’d think about Tanaka when they texted. Karasuno’s ace would find his way into Ennoshita’s mind like he did most days. Ennoshita would find himself wishing it was Tanaka he was replying to, before reminding himself that Tanaka probably wouldn’t ask Ennoshita for the things that Terushima did. Albeit his loud and sometimes intimidating exterior, Tanaka was gentle hearted. He loved his friends and volleyball fiercely. He held doors open and patted shoulders after practice. He would nod along when he listened to Ennoshita talk and would walk him to the bus stop after school. Off the court Tanaka was gentle, but he wasn’t the one texting Ennoshita. And so Ennoshita made peace with being Terushima's distraction, figuring it was the best he was going to get. He’d be grateful for carnal locker room encounters if it meant something rather than nothing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry this has taken me so long to finish! It was sitting in my drive like 80% done for a week now and finally got around to finishing it lol. Anyways I hope y'all are staying healthy and safe, check out the links on my profile for resources/information regarding the BLM movement. </p><p>Also if you follow me for Podium Family content I'm going to try to have another fic up by the end of the weekend! I'm sorry I haven't been posting as regularly as before, I went back to work so my schedule has been a little hectic. Thank you all for being patient with me. If you have any suggestions/requests please leave a comment or you can always get ahold of me @arminita-muscaria on tumblr.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ennoshita nearly jumped out of his skin when Tanaka came up behind him and asked, “isn’t Terushima Johzenji’s captain? Why’s he texting you?” They had just finished practice when Ennoshita’s phone had pinged, indicating he received a text message.</p><p>“A-ah! Captain stuff, you know...” Ennoshita lied as his blood ran cold. Tanaka crept around him with an odd look on his face, one eyebrow raised high. Ennoshita felt panic rise in his chest as the ace eyed him curiously. Terushima would sometimes text him in the afternoons although not very often. Shit, he should have waited and not have pulled out his phone with his teammates still around.</p><p>“Don’t you have a group chat for that?” As vice captain, Tanaka was well aware of the fact that the team captains had their own chat and would have semi-regular meetings to organize practice games and training camps.</p><p>“Well uh, he was just asking me about what our plans were for playing Nekoma, I guess Johzenji is trying to set up a practice game with them too,” Ennoshita explained. The lie came out easily, and it seemed believable enough. He was just glad that Tanaka had only seen the notification and not whatever the actual text message said. Going off of what Terushima had sent him earlier while Ennoshita was still in class, it probably was something he wouldn’t want Tanaka seeing.</p><p>“Huh, well, maybe we should schedule a practice game with Johzenji too, after they play Nekoma,” Tanaka offered as he let his eyes linger over Ennoshita’s face for a moment, noticing the slight pink flush of his cheeks.</p><p>Ennoshita felt his stomach turn but somehow was able to maintain the smile he had plastered on his face. “Yeah, I’ll talk to Terushima about that,” he laughed awkwardly.</p><p>Tanaka doesn’t bring it up again as they cleaned the gym, much to Ennoshita’s relief. Instead he waited until most of the team had cleared out and Ennoshita was still in the gym talking to Takeda and coach Ukai about running an extra practice that upcoming weekend.</p><p>“Did you guys know Ennoshita’s been texting Terushima?” Tanaka asked, turning to Kinnoshita and Narita as they packed up their bags in the club room.</p><p>The pair looked at Tanaka and then over at each other, their eyes blown wide and eyebrows raised high. They both shook their heads, ‘no’. Ennoshita hadn’t told them anything about texting somebody.</p><p>“Like, from Johzenji, Terushima?” Kinnoshita asked.</p><p>“Uh, yeah. That’s the only Terushima I know,” Tanaka sighed. “I saw his name pop up on Ennoshita’s phone when we started to clean up the gym, and it wasn’t in the captain’s group chat. I don’t know, I thought it was kind of weird,” he shrugged. “I was thinking maybe he’d have said something to you two if anything was up? Like, do they talk? Because he hasn’t said anything about it to me.”</p><p>The couple exchanged glances again, both trying to hide their individual worry about the news regarding their friend’s recent contacts. If Tanaka was worried then something probably wasn’t right.</p><p>“He hasn’t said anything to us, I’m sure it’s fine,” Narita spoke up. He didn’t really believe his own words but he didn’t want to stir things up for his friend, especially knowing how Ennoshita reacted to conflict. Ennoshita tended to retreat inside himself when confronted and would sometimes even turn it back on the other person if he was upset enough, he took everything personally.</p><p>“Mmm,” Tanaka hummed, unsatisfied. It just felt a little bit off.</p><p>He had never really seen Ennoshita interact with Terushima before, so it was weird to see his friend’s phone light up with Terushima’s contact. But he did know they met semi-regularly at captains meetings and had each other’s phone numbers because of it. Ennoshita wouldn’t hide anything from him surely, they were friends after all and co-captains now. If Ennoshita hadn’t even told Kinnoshita or Narita then it was probably nothing, Tanaka tried to convince himself. It was sound logic really, he trusted Ennoshita to the fullest degree so Ennoshita must trust him too. Satisfied with that reasoning, Tanaka figured that if something was up, Ennoshita would have told him.</p><p>Tanaka almost never saw Ennoshita’s phone after that. It was always tucked away in his bag or even stored in his locker, only brought out before and after practice. Tanaka didn’t really notice the device's absence and the memory of Terushima’s name in his friend’s phone slowly disappeared from his mind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Ennoshita and Tanaka finally get together it’s in the middle of their third year of high school. It’s a slow process, the two pining after one another with everyone in on it but the other. They spend many evenings after school doing homework in Tanaka’s room, sitting close but not close enough. Knees knocking and hands brushing every so often causing them both to blush and look away. It takes Tanaka forever to figure out that what he feels for Ennoshita is more than friendship, and even longer before he worked up the courage to act on it. But when he did, Tanaka held Ennoshita’s face in his hands like he was something precious.</p><p>The two boys stare at each other for a few moments, face just centimeters apart. Tanaka had leaned in to brush an eyelash off of Ennoshita’s cheek and instead found himself cupping the other boy’s face before he realized what he had done. Ennoshita was so close and he was so beautiful, he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “can I kiss you?”.</p><p>He screwed his eyes shut as he waited for an answer, gently brushing his thumbs over the slope of Ennoshita’s cheekbones. Ennoshita leaned into the touch and nodded. Tanaka pulled him close until their lips were just millimeters apart and Tanaka’s breath was warm against his own. The two stared at each other for a moment, eyes flickering back and forth between one another’s eyes and lips.</p><p>“You sure?” Tanaka asked, wanting to make sure that Ennoshita was absolutely certain.</p><p>“Yes,” Ennoshita whispered back.</p><p>The way Tanaka kissed Ennoshita was completely different from the way Terushima kissed him. Tanaka kissed gently and slowly, like they were the only two people in the world. His hands stayed where they were, cradling Ennoshita’s face and not roaming or grabbing. The first kiss only lasted for a few moments before Tanaka pulled back.</p><p>“Have- have you ever been kissed before?” He asked, his gaze flickering between Ennoshita’s eyes and his mouth again. The ace shifted awkwardly as he waited for an answer.</p><p>“Oh, uh, yeah,” Ennoshita confessed. “Just once though.” He saw Tanaka’s expression falter and for a moment his heart sank.</p><p>“Could I, um, can I kiss you again and you tell me if I’m better then?” He offered with a tentative smile.</p><p>Ennoshita hummed his response, “mhmm”.</p><p>Tanaka moved back in, capturing his teammates lips once again. He used his hands to guide Ennoshita to tilt his head back ever so slightly as he ran his tongue along his bottom lip. Ennoshita let Tanaka deepen the kiss slowly and Tanaka did just that. He kissed Ennoshita like he was trying to make it last, like their kiss was something special. It made a warm heat rise in Ennoshita’s chest as Tanaka held his face between his large palms.</p><p>It took a moment but then Ennoshita was kissing back and his arms went to loop around Tanaka’s back sort of like a hug. The ace’s skin felt warm under Ennoshita’s hands through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. Ennoshita could feel his cheek’s heating up and the sensation of Tanaka rubbing his thumbs over his cheeks made him shiver. But all too quickly, it was over and Tanaka pulled away once again, leaving Ennoshita feeling slightly breathless.</p><p>He looked at Ennoshita expectantly. “Better,” the captain managed to mumble through the daze.</p><p>“Really?” Tanaka perked up at the quiet decleration.</p><p>“Mhmm,” Ennoshita hummed again, struggling to find the right words. He couldn’t believe it was all really happening.</p><p>His brain had barely begun to process the fact that he had just kissed his long-time crush but before he could even really think about it, Tanaka’s hand was tilting his chin up and their lips met again and then again. Tanaka didn’t hold back as much, parting Ennoshita’s lips sooner than before. Ennoshita’s breath caught in his throat as Tanaka licked into his mouth slowly, sending a shiver down his spine. Ennoshita pressed himself forward and kissed back with matched desire. His hands found purchase in the thin material of Tanaka’s t-shirt as the taller boy guided him backwards until Ennoshita was laying flat against the mattress.</p><p>“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long,” Tanaka panted as he pulled back slightly so that the two could break for air.</p><p>They stared at each other for a moment as they caught their breath and Tanaka knelt over Ennoshita, staring down at the other boy. A beat passed and then Tanaka was peppering light kisses across Ennoshita’s face. The intimate gesture made Ennoshita squirm as small noises escaped his lips, feeling entirely overwhelmed by the sensation of Tanaka’s long eyelashes brushing across his cheeks. It was so sweet and soft that Ennoshita was caught completely off guard.</p><p>“You’re beautiful,” Tanaka whispered as he pressed kisses into Ennoshita’s jaw.</p><p>Ennoshita gasped but was quickly silenced by the press of Tanaka’s lips against his own once again. He felt warm and fuzzy, like his head was full of cotton. Perhaps the words he had just heard had slipped into his mind on their own, too sweet to be meant for him. Rather than think about it he let himself drift into the sensation of being kissed. He wrapped one arm around Tanaka’s neck with his other hand coming to press against his sturdy chest. Under his palm he could feel the fluttering beat of Tanaka’s heart as their lips met again. Tanaka cupped Ennoshita’s cheek gently, holding himself up above the other boy on one steady hand. They kissed tender and slow as their chests bumped slightly, only buffered by Ennoshita’s hand over Tanaka’s heart.</p><p>The next time they broke for air Ennoshita found himself whimpering at the loss. “Please,” he breathed, propping himself up on one elbow in order to kiss Tanaka again.</p><p>The ace let out a little noise of surprise but quickly kissed back. The fog cleared in Ennoshita’s mind as he began to take control of the kiss, pressing his torso up higher to be closer to Tanaka who had sat back slightly. Anxiety bubbled up in his chest, how long had they been kissing? How much longer until it was all going to end? He was kissing Tanaka, finally kissing him after first realizing he harboured a crush for the other boy in the middle of their first year of high school. He wanted to make it last, if this was the one and only time he got to kiss Tanaka he would take full advantage of it. Ennoshita moved his hand from Tanaka’s chest and pushed at his shoulder, effectively rolling the two of them over so that he was straddling Tanaka’s lap. The ace looked up at him with wide eyes and a dazed smile.</p><p>Ennoshita bent down and kissed Tanaka again but this time with more passion than before, feverishly licking into Tanaka’s mouth like the boy beneath him would melt away at any moment. Ennoshita shifted closer to Tanaka, canting his hips against the other boys, causing Tanaka to jolt a little bit. Ennoshita brought one hand down to rest just above the ace’s waistband as he nipped slightly harder than necessary at Tanaka’s lower lip. Tanaka couldn’t hold back the groan that rose out of his throat as he felt Ennoshita’s teeth drag across his lip. He could feel Ennoshita’s hand pressing down on his hip bone and for a moment he wanted to move it lower, but he stopped himself. It was still their first kiss and he wanted it to be sweet.</p><p>“Hey, it’s not a race,” Tanaka chuckled and pulled away, “we have time.” He sat up slowly before moving out from under Ennpshita to lay down with his head in the other boy’s lap. “This is nice,” he hummed, smiling brightly up at his captain.</p><p>“Y-yeah,” Ennoshita managed to get out. It felt so surreal. It was over. He had only pressed forward because he figured he wouldn’t get another chance. He thought maybe he could show Tanaka that he could be desirable enough to kiss again but Tanaka had pulled away. He hadn’t left Ennoshita though and that was… strange. There was some weird part of Ennoshita’s mind that expected the other boy to get up and leave even though they were in Tanaka’s house. He had somehow thought that was how the course of the evening would go as soon as their lips met; kissing and heavy petting until Tanaka got bored and left Ennoshita to clean himself up. Except he didn’t. Instead he settled himself in Ennoshita’s lap with a happy hum and a smile.</p><p>The two stayed like that for a while, with Ennoshita’s hand eventually coming to stroke Tanaka’s cropped hair. Tanaka leaned into the touch, turning his head just slightly so that he was facing Ennoshita’s torso rather than looking up at his face. Carefully he moved and snaked his arms around Ennoshita, hugging his waist. Immediately Ennoshita wanted to pull away, to jump up and run away from the gentle touch that Tanaka was giving him. Tanaka’s hands were laid flat against the small of his back, warm and firm but not grabbing at him. Instead they just held him close as Tanaka pressed his face into Ennoshita’s side.</p><p>“You’re so soft and warm,” Tanaka sighed. “I could stay like this forever.”</p><p><em>Soft</em>. There was that word again. Ennoshita felt his blood run cold, Terushima’s voice echoing in his head, “<em>you’re so soft”</em>. He wanted to squirm and pull away, wrestle himself out of Tanaka’s loose and gentle grasp. Tanaka, on the other hand, seemed content to stay right where he was. The ace sighed happily to himself as he pressed his face against Ennoshita’s stomach and rubbed small circles across his back. It felt so strange, so foreign to have Tanaka’s hands on him. The boy who was so strong and could smash a volleyball past three blockers wasn’t digging his fingers into Ennoshita’s skin. It almost made Ennoshita uncomfortable in a way. He hadn’t known what to expect exactly, but complete gentleness definitely wasn’t it. On the court Tanaka was loud and strong, like Terushima. But the way the two held, or rather, grabbed Ennoshita, was entirely different.</p><p>Ennoshita didn’t know if he liked the tenderness but he also didn’t know if he didn’t like it either. It was all just a little too much. Somehow he had come to expect all touch to feel a little too aggressive, a little too needy, and a little too rushed. He had figured he’d be torn into again as soon as he offered himself up, like the last time he had done this. There was something about it that felt off. This was better right? The sweet and gentle way Tanaka had kissed him was objectively far better than how Terushima had kissed him and yet there was something that didn’t sit right, didn’t feel right.</p><p><em>Soft</em>. The word curled itself around his head like a playground taunt. How could Tanaka say it with such affection? There was nothing sweet or lovely about being soft to Ennoshita. It was something that weighed him down, that got him sloppy kisses in locker rooms. It wasn’t something that made him worthy of Tanaka’s gentleness. His softness was what made Terushima want to dig his hands into Ennoshita until he was satiated. It didn’t make him desirable outside of dark locker rooms.</p><p>“Hey, are you alright?” Tanaka asked, noticing the glassy look in Ennoshita’s eyes.</p><p>“Oh,” Ennoshita hummed as the fog in his head cleared and he was brought back to reality.</p><p>“You looked a little out of it,” Tanaka commented, keeping his tone light as he reached his hand up and stroked the other boy’s cheek.</p><p>“Mmm, I was just thinking about how much your head feels like a tennis ball,” he snarked, coming up with a quick joke.</p><p>“It does not!” Tanaka quipped back with an overly dramatic gasp. The two boys dissolved into a fit of laughter together as Ennoshita continued to stroke Tanaka’s buzzed hair. They spent the rest of the evening entwined together and kissing softly until Ennoshita couldn’t remember that he had ever kissed someone who wasn’t Tanaka.</p><p>Tanka was a great boyfriend- actually he was the perfect boyfriend. He was considerate and thoughtful even if he came off as brash to others. But with Ennoshita he was always considerate, asking if it was okay for him to touch certain places and taking things slowly. Tanaka would give Ennoshita his jacket when he got cold and was happy to spend time just sitting together in comfortable silence while they did their homework. Tanaka would kiss Ennoshita gently, never with the untamed ferocity Terushima kissed with. Tanaka would hold Ennoshita with flat and steady hands that didn’t grab or roam or bruise. When Tanaka kissed him, Ennoshita didn’t feel like he was being eaten up or torn apart. Everything about being with Tanaka was different and it felt so good.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Karasuno and Johzenji don’t interact again in any official capacity until the Miyagi Interhigh Preliminaries and Ennoshita had left Terushima on read for weeks. The late night texts eventually fizzled out, and Ennoshita hoped that this meant Terushima had moved on to distract himself with some other plain faced volleyball player, or even found himself a girlfriend. Ennoshita tried not to dwell on it too much now that he was in a relationship, and a good one at that.</p><p>And Tanaka was protective. He was unafraid to outwardly call Ennoshita his boyfriend, and didn’t pull him into dark corners to kiss. But just saying that Tanaka was protective would be an understatement, especially when it came to other people flirting with his boyfriend. It hadn’t happened before of course, it wasn’t like Ennoshita had boys or girls fawning over him like some of the other players on the team. His weeks of leaving Terushima on read had left Ennoshita with a sense that the blonde had moved onto someone else and that he wouldn’t bother looking at Ennoshita anymore and yet at the Interhigh Prelims he found himself caged in by the other captain. Ennoshita had gotten separated from his team to go sign them in at the check in desk with Kiyoko, when Kiyoko was suddenly pulled away by Takeda-sensei for some matter, leaving Ennoshita alone.</p><p>“Hey!” A loud voice rang out, Ennoshita recognized it immediately and Johzenji’s captain was next to him in an instant. “Haven’t heard from you in a while, sweetheart,” he grinned slyly. He looked Ennoshita up and down before swiping his tongue over his bottom lip with a smack.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve been busy,” Ennoshita replied flatly, dropping his eyes to the ground.</p><p>“Too busy for me?” Terushima smirked as he crossed his arms over his chest.</p><p>“If you could believe it, yes,” Ennoshita quipped back sarcastically, his eyes still stuck on the floor.</p><p>Terushima took a step forward, now fully in Ennoshita’s personal space, “mmm, still feisty as ever, Chikara.”</p><p>A small gasp escaped Ennoshita’s lips at the sound of his given name and his eyes caught Terushima’s. But then another voice was cutting through the noise of the crowd.</p><p>“Chikara?” It was Tanaka, his tone biting as he didn’t understand why Johzenji’s captain was acting so buddy buddy with his boyfriend.</p><p>“Hmm, this is Karasuno’s ace, right?” Terushima asked. His eyes only flickered over to Tanaka before landing back on Ennoshita, who he looked up and down hungrily.</p><p>“What’s your problem?” Tanaka asked, leaning forward.</p><p>Ennoshita would have been able to cut the tension in the air with a knife, it was so thick. Terushima straightened up and flashed a smile, his tongue piercing catching the light. He looked at Tanaka again and then back Ennoshita once more.</p><p>“Heh, I see you two must be busy,” he chuckled, putting two and two together as his gaze flickered between the two Karasuno players. He crossed his arms and turned to Tanaka, “sorry man, I’ll step off. My bad.”</p><p>Tanaka’s face contorted, his brow furrowing and eyes narrowed. He looked only seconds away from actually throwing down.</p><p>“Tanaka,” Ennoshita whispered, “come on.” The captain grabbed ahold of Tanaka’s arm with two hands and dragged him away from Terushima to a quiet corner of the lobby.</p><p>“What the hell was that about?” Tanaka huffed, talking expressively with his hands.</p><p>“We don’t have time for this,” Ennoshita sighed, rubbing his temples. “You know how Terushima can be. He was just bothering me, that’s it, he’s like that,” Ennoshita tried to explain away.</p><p>“He called you Chikara,” Tanaka countered, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“He doesn’t know what boundaries are,” he responded, unsure of why he was making excuses for Terushima. “Whatever, it’s nothing. Let’s just go get ready for our first game.”</p><p>“But-” Tanaka started</p><p>“Just drop it, okay?” Ennoshita grumbled, cutting his boyfriend off and turning to make his way back towards their team.</p><p>Tanaka let out a dissatisfied sigh but didn’t say anymore, not wanting to press Ennoshita right before they were about to play a match. They did moderately well, just taking the win by a small margin. But both Ennoshita and Tanaka felt out of their element. Tanaka still cheered each time he scored, although he didn’t score as often as he usually did in games. Meanwhile Ennoshita had a hard time vocalizing and calling plays, too stuck in his head to really be aware of what was going on around him. The game was over before he knew it, like he hadn’t even really been playing even though he had been on the court the entire time. All he could think about was the fallout he felt was inevitable, that Tanaka would figure out what had happened between him and Terushima and he would leave.</p><p>Ennoshita didn’t even think about his phone until it was beeping and in Tanaka’s hands.</p><p>“Why is Terushima texting you?” Tanaka asked, his voice low so as not to draw too much attention to them, seeing as they were still in the gym.</p><p>“What?” Ennoshita mumbled, still half stuck in a daze. This couldn’t have been happening. Tanaka would see the text messages and it would all be over. He would see the lengths Ennoshita had gone to just to try to mean something, even if that something was only a distraction. Ennoshita felt his stomach drop as a terrible thought crossed his mind, Tanaka was going to leave him.</p><p>“Why did Terushia text you ‘<em>you know where to find me</em>’? What else does it say?”</p><p>“He probably just wants to talk about playing each other or something,” Ennoshita sputtered.</p><p>“Ennoshita,” Tanaka warned. Ennoshita had to drop his gaze to the floor, Tanaka looked so hurt.</p><p>Ennoshita fumbled the phone away from Tanaka and stepped outside into the relatively empty hallway before they could cause a scene. “Look! I never respond to him,” he defended, hastily holding his phone out in front of Tanaka before even reading what Terushima’s text message said.</p><p>“<em>You know where to find me when that ‘ace’ of yours isn’t around?</em>” Tanaka read aloud. His usual grin was replaced by a thin line as his lips pressed together. Ennoshita recoiled, pulling his phone back when Tanaka’s hand caught his wrist. “Will you please just tell me what’s going on?” He pleaded, voice shaking.</p><p>“It’s nothing, Tanaka,” Ennoshita implored, desperately hoping that his boyfriend would just drop it. He didn’t want to tell him, he couldn’t tell him. What would Tanaka think of him then? He had spent the few weeks they had been together feeling like Tanaka was about to slip out of his hands at a moment’s notice. He felt like he was just waiting for Tanaka to leave him and finding out about Ennoshita’s past with Terushima would be the tipping point. Ennoshita could feel himself panicking. He felt so stupid, thinking that he could have something that would actually last or that he’d be somebody worth holding on to.</p><p>“It’s not nothing,” Tanaka grumbled, swiping his thumb across the screen to scroll through the dozens of text messages that had been exchanged between his boyfriend and Terushima, even if they were weeks old.</p><p>“You lied to me,” Tanaka accused, his eyes wide as he continued to scroll through the text messages.</p><p>“They’re old. It- it was from before we got together,” Ennoshita defended. “I haven’t texted him back since we started dating,” his voice came out high pitched and strained. He was messing it up, he was making it worse, he just wanted to stop talking but he couldn’t help it, he needed to defend himself. He’d do anything he just didn’t want to be the bad guy he felt like he was.</p><p>“You didn’t have to tell me everything but I asked you about, I asked you about it and you lied to my face,” Tanaka’s chin wobbled as he spoke.</p><p>“I didn’t lie!” Ennoshita argued, snapping back at his boyfriend. </p><p>“I asked you why he was texting you, and even if we weren’t dating then I thought you’d have trusted me enough to not hide things from me. But this morning you lied to me while he was there trying to put the moves on you and you <em>stopped me. Why did you stop me if it meant nothing?</em>”</p><p>“Because I didn’t want you to think any less of me, I didn’t want you to look at me the way Terushima does!” Ennoshita confessed, his hands balling up into fists at his sides.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Tanaka asked, his voice suddenly somber rather than angry. He took a step forward and reached out but Ennoshita recoiled and wrapped his arms around his torso protectively, hiding himself away.</p><p>“I’m just a distraction to him, he texts me when he’s bored and lonely and- and I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m more than that to you,” Ennoshita explained, finally meeting Tanaka’s eyes.</p><p>“Chikara..” Tanaka’s mouth fell open in disbelief. “Is that… all you think this is? That I’m just going to move on and leave?”</p><p>“I don’t know!” He gasped. Tanaka stared at him with his eyes blown wide in disbelief. “That’s what happens, isn’t it?” He laughed bitterly, biting back the tears. “Guys that are way above my league think I’m interesting enough for a while and then they move on. And you, you’re so good and I don’t deserve it at all,”</p><p>“Chikara,” The ace faltered, moving forward once again to try and pull his boyfriend into a hug.</p><p>“Don’t you want to leave now?” Ennoshita croaked, jerking backwards.</p><p>“What? No. I’m not going to leave you, I love you,” Tanaka confessed, grabbing the other boy’s hand. Ennoshita turned but didn’t pull his hand back, using the back of his free hand to wipe away the tears that had begun to stream down his cheeks.</p><p>“W-what?” Ennoshita whimpered, looking up at Tanaka with teary eyes.</p><p>“I’m upset that you lied to me but that doesn’t change how I feel about you,” Tanaka said, voice wavering slightly. “Whatever you did with Terushima was before you and I got together, yeah?”</p><p>“Yes,” Ennoshita confirmed, his lip quivering.</p><p>“Then those specifics are none of my business. Please just, I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide things from me, and I don’t want you to lie to me.” Tanaka pleaded as he pressed Ennoshita’s hand up against his chest. “I love you. So much, and I want you to believe it.”</p><p>Ennoshita couldn’t help but let out a surprised squeak as he felt his heart beat quicken in his chest in response to Tanaka’s declaration. “I- I,” he sputtered, unable to find his words.</p><p>“I’m not going to leave you,” the ace reaffirmed with a nod. “And if Terushima doesn’t leave you alone then he’s going to have to go through me. I’ll spike that bastard right in the face. You’re not disposable and he doesn’t get to treat you like you are,” he sighed gently.</p><p>“You mean that…” Ennoshita whispered in disbelief, still unsure that he heard Tanaka right.</p><p>“Of course I do,” Tanaka smiled. He did mean it, afterall. “We’re okay, yeah?” The ace asked, running his thumb over Ennoshita’s knuckles.</p><p>“You’re sure about this?” Ennoshita asked, his eyes dropping to where their hands were connected. He still felt so unsure, so frazzled and awkward and guilty. “About me?”</p><p>“I am,” Tanaka said firmly, leaving no room for doubt. Ennoshita nodded his head and sniffled, it was all so overwhelming. He had wanted Tanaka for so long and he was truly convinced that he would maybe get a fling at best before the other boy realized he deserved more and moved on. But there he was, holding Ennoshita’s hand and making a promise to him with unwavering certainty.</p><p>“Can I kiss you?” Tanaka asked softly.</p><p>Ennoshita blinked up at the other boy as his cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of pink before nodding. “Please,” he whispered.</p><p>Tanaka smiled gently before ducking his head down and capturing Ennoshita’s lips. They only kissed for a few moments, close lipped and chaste but it made Ennoshita’s heart beat faster than ever before. Ennoshita let himself melt into the gentleness of it all as Tanaka pulled him close. When they finally parted, Tanaka ran his thumb over Ennoshita’s cheek and proceeded to stare at him like Ennoshita was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Ennoshita felt his heart swell in his chest. The way Tanaka looked at him was so different from the way Terushima had, from the way anyone had. Tanaka proved how much he cared for Ennoshita every day in the gentle way he held Ennoshita, how he listened to him intently, how he kissed him slowly, how he told Ennoshita that he loved him.</p><p>“Come on captain, your team’s waiting for you,” Tanaka smiled as he gently rested his forehead again Ennoshita’s, hands still cradling the other boy’s face.</p><p>“Our team,” Ennoshita breathed back. “Or did you forget that you’re the vice captain?”</p><p>Tanaka couldn’t help but snort at the comment, at least Ennoshita was laughing again. Tanaka pressed a gentle kiss against his boyfriend’s forehead before pulling his hands away from Ennoshita’s pink cheeks. “Let’s go,” he grinned.</p><p>Tanaka grabbed ahold of Ennoshita’s hand and Ennoshita let himself be dragged along to the bus where the rest of Karasuno was waiting for them. The couple settled into their seats near the front of the bus just behind Coach Ukai and Takeda. Tanaka sat against the window with an arm slung around Ennoshita who leaned comfortably against his side. The couple dozed off together, Ennoshita’s head tipping back onto Tanaka’s shoulder and Tanaka’s hand gently coming to rest right over the other boy’s collarbone. Being together like this had become easier, but it had taken time of course for Ennoshita to get there. There was something that felt so good about being able to touch Tanaka in a way that was affectionate and didn’t make him feel like his body was being used. Tanaka touched Ennoshita gently and with consideration, he loved Ennoshita unconditionally and with everything he had.</p>
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